How Cool Mom’s are like Strippers

Meeting needs
o To Candi Kane (she’s the stripper BTW): “I need a laptop dance!”
o To Racing Around Mom Teri (she’s not the stripper, under this name): “I need to go to ballet!”

Makeup
o Luscious Flavor: Extra eyeliner
o Tired Mom Jen: Extra concealer

Personal Hygiene
o Miranda Rights: Wax on, Wax off (muff)
o Ozzie & Harriet Mom Jane: Wax on, Wax off (mustache)

Cleaning
o Fawn Star: Douche bag
o Tidy Mom Jessica: Vacuum bag

Cooking
o For Fluffy Beaver: I can feel up the bacon!
o For Chef Mom Brenda: I can bake the turkey-bacon in the carbon free solar powered convection oven in a recycled pan.

And never let him forget he’s a man…
o Bendovra Pole’: Nasty nighties, sexy dance, bendy, and let him touch (just a little).
o Miss Jackson if you’re Nasty Mom Natalie: Nasty nighties, sexy dance, bendy, and hope that he touches (just a little).

Glitter Everywhere
o This list came to me when I realized how often I find glitter amongst the cat & dog hair I continually sweep up. Kind of weird actually…